tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90525667548927325392024-03-12T16:07:01.319-07:00Ear of the GundarkLuke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-81857526116278930462016-07-17T15:09:00.000-07:002016-07-17T15:09:20.946-07:00The root cause of gentrificationIt's very simple, sometime after the show Friends, people started wanting to live in the city. Friends is not the only thing behind the trend, but it does give a decent ballpark estimate of the date when this trend started. At first, it was just an interesting new trend. For some time in the 90's and early oughts, Seattle and Chicago saw a reversal of the general direction of commuting. There were more people living in the city and commuting to work in the suburbs than the other way around. But now, we have gentrification. The popularity of the city is running into constraints on the supply of housing. <br />
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You will see a lot written about why this is happening and most of it is wrong. The fact is, it is illegal to build affordable housing in Seattle, and most cities not called Manhattan have some kind of law against building anything without parking. Seattle had such a law for a long time. It mandates that there be a car space for every dwelling unit, and guaranties that traffic will get steadily worse and that nothing new will be built for the urban car free lifestyle. This post from Nextdoor shows the grass roots origin of this trend<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzhhbYGTE1F4lLqbKfXsQU9U-ZuVvOkUA1ap2QMXejua2w4dEq8rqBVIhVg8o8bIbjNmETv63CQA6qjNLQjjKmpfezEg3959Bsss8YKH_mt2H8f_DSOe4_sz4dbw8lfzHuaTtOJ29XbWY/s1600/entitlement-to-street-parking.png" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzhhbYGTE1F4lLqbKfXsQU9U-ZuVvOkUA1ap2QMXejua2w4dEq8rqBVIhVg8o8bIbjNmETv63CQA6qjNLQjjKmpfezEg3959Bsss8YKH_mt2H8f_DSOe4_sz4dbw8lfzHuaTtOJ29XbWY/s1600/entitlement-to-street-parking.png" /></a><br />
This post represents very well the prevailing attitude in Seattle. It never occurs to this person that someone might live in Seattle without a car. That's literally unthinkable. The fact that I have done it for nearly 20 years doesn't register. The fact that a chunk of those years were spent 500 feet from the address being discussed in this post makes this all the more infuriating to me.<br />
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We can stop gentrification, and even reverse it. When the supply of housing grows faster than the demand, gentrification will recede. This can't happen if it's illegal. The necessary first step is to repeal the law requiring all new units to include a space for another car. Another step, even more important, is to push back against this idea that its not possible to live in Seattle without a car. It is possible. I have done it, and continue to do it. Car2Go and Zipcar have nearly erased the difference between having your own car in your driveway and renting. I actually drive several times a week and have a car any time I need it. I may have to walk a mile to get the car, but it's available to me, and I spend quite a bit less than even a car owner who has finished with their car payments.<br />
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The fact that people in Seattle complain about the traffic, and then insist that we legally mandate a parking space for every new dwelling unit deserves a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-IV_codes">spot in the DSM</a>. Maybe we can call it homeowner derangement syndrome. <br />
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The way car owners view the city-owned street parking spaces as a thing they are entitled to is another facet of this post that needs mockery. Everything in this post has been said to me by leftists living in Seattle with a straight face. Some of them homeowners. And some were renters. Both united in the belief that street parking was a thing that they are entitled to and that they have a right to block construction that threatens it. If we continue to force developers to prioritize their lifestyle, we will be the next SF Bay area. <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/feb/17/san-francisco-tech-open-letter-i-dont-want-to-see-homeless-riff-raff">Everybody loves to hate on the tech-bro who said he shouldn't have to be bothered with the sight of homelessness</a>, but he is not the cause of this gentrification. Parking space defenders like this Next Door user are.Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-59714233976542405822012-08-16T03:54:00.000-07:002012-08-16T03:56:46.219-07:00Wanting the rest of the storyThere is so much that is right with <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/08/15/texas-jury-sees-video-teacher-allegedly-having-sex-with-4-students/">this story</a>, a High School English teacher has sex with four of her 18+ year old students at the same time. Normally a story like this would be cause for celebration, except that ass backwards law in Texas says that this is a felony and she faces up to 20 years for it.
The TV news anchor asks the crucial question, "why is this considered a crime?"<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/4n4jrFSmhOs" width="420"></iframe><br />
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But there are many other questions I would like to hear answers to:
Why are any of the "victims", that would be the 18+ year old students who gang-fucked a consenting 27 year old, cooperating with the prosecution? Are they being threatened by the school with expulsion? Or by the prosecutor with criminal charges? If so, who is abusing power here? In one of the stories, the potential for abuse of power is cited as the reason why we need this law.
One of the comments on the <a href="http://gawker.com/brittni-colleps/">Gawker article</a> points out that prosecutors sometimes bring cases with very little merit for the potential publicity. I sure hope this prosecutor doesn't benefit from this insanity.
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<br />Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-87736183426149658662009-06-25T16:37:00.000-07:002009-06-25T16:38:19.707-07:00Policing the World<a href="http://blog.usni.org/?p=3434">This Naval Institute blog post</a> has this interesting quote: <blockquote>While the Navy can always be present persistently in areas of our choosing, we lack the capacity to be persistently present globally. This creates a presence deficit, if you will, where we are unable to meet combatant commander demands.</blockquote><br />They seem to take it for granted that the national interests of the United States really do require us to maintain a global persistent presence. <br /><br />I'm certain that they're wrong about that, and I'm inclined toward the view that we should be moving more toward a persistent military absense from anywhere very far from our own shores like we had prior to Teddy Roosevelt's administration. Of course, the world has changed a lot and maybe a good case can be made that we need a persistent military presence in some places, but WWII began without that kind of presense and we won it. Why do we now need to be all over the world? What's the security benefit and/or what's the unacceptable security risk in leaving some of the places we currently have troops? Why not leave Korea? Japan? Europe? I can see the argument for staying in the Middle East, but I'm having trouble seeing it for anywhere else. <br /><br />So back to the question. If I'm wrong in my view of the 19th century as a good direction to return to military presence-wise, what's the right direction? Where do we need to maintain presence and why? I'm talking about the long term, not when or if we should get out of Afghanistan, but what should our goal be? Where should we keep bases and why? Where must our Navy maintain its presence?Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-49416191576640379652009-06-25T16:36:00.000-07:002009-06-25T16:37:40.674-07:00Some Cultures are Bettervia the always awesome <a href="http://www.tinynibbles.com/blogarchives/2009/06/kunniringusu-the-japanese-english-guide-to-sex-kink-and-naughtiness.html">Violet Blue</a>. I discovered <a href="http://pinknihon.wordpress.com/">Pink Nihon</a>. A blog devoted to the crucial study of Japanese sex vocabulary. Did you know that the Japanese have a word for lending one's partner out for sex? It's <a href="http://pinknihon.wordpress.com/2009/06/23/kashidashi-purei/">貸し出しプレイ (kashidashi purei)</a>. Now how much easier would daily conversation be if your language had a word like that? I've been convinced since an early age that Japanese culture is just plain better than the rest of the world. This is one more bit of evidence.Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-79792704200476731082009-06-14T19:22:00.000-07:002009-06-14T19:34:54.870-07:00Avoid Yakima<a href="http://www.alternet.org/sex/140591/15_shocking_tales_of_how_sex_laws_are_screwing_the_american_people/">This article on alternet</a> about what sex laws are doing to this country (the US) is a must read. It puts together all the shitty things that have been done to people who broke nobodys arm nor picked anyone's pocket. Well, just the sex related ones, it does not touch on the tens of thousands we're still incarcerating for buying or selling drugs, but that's a separate, and massively important injustice which I don't have anything new to say about. <br /><br />It talks about how many kids are being criminally investigated for sending naked pictures of themselves. <a href="http://www.usatoday.com/tech/wireless/2009-03-11-sexting_N.htm">2 dozen</a> is the number USA Today estimates in a six state area, which means fuck only knows what the nationwide number is, but one is far too many. <br /><br />Perhaps the most disturbing part of the report comes from right here <a href="http://www.alternet.org/sex/140591/15_shocking_tales_of_how_sex_laws_are_screwing_the_american_people/?page=2">in Washington state</a>.<br /><blockquote>This June, the city of Yakima, Washington, voted to change the city's indecent exposure laws to include "cleavage of the buttocks." This means that women whose thong or G-string show can now be fined $1,000 or face up to 90 days in jail.</blockquote><br />Ladies, if the far-reaching influence of this blog can do one thing for the future of the Northwest Region, it should be to assure you that the sight of a thong peaking over the top of some low-rise jeans is not in the slightest bit indecent. I understand that some of you like to keep your underwear to yourselves. But women who show buttcrack, or better yet, a thong that draws attention to the fact that part of a woman's ass is exposed for my viewing pleasure, are contributing to the mental health of the community, not committing a crime. <br /><br />This law is one more reason to avoid Yakima.Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-6232095673538916172009-06-14T15:01:00.000-07:002009-06-14T15:49:01.372-07:00The Slog is working on lists of <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2009/06/12/six-things-you-cant-say-in-seattle&cb=89e5bf50c42ac0bd08a5d035d433cad7&layoutId=PostComment&view=comments#comment-1694164">things you can't say in Seattle</a>. <br /><br />The lists are funny, but they are lists of things I hear people say nearly every day, and I've never seen anyone get into any kind of trouble for saying them. A less misleading title would be "Things the voices in my head tell me not to say in Seattle".Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-23749144426895128152009-05-29T05:18:00.000-07:002009-05-29T05:33:25.452-07:00Mocking Conservatism as it's Actually Lived<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjWBtnHxZNaBDiCbQKkv1sA-vmY7l6gPiXqFWCO_W_d_jJJVxNjXMdL3Cknr7djB2pdXqGsaySUJ7wTyoGGmLok3gv4DoFDBhqLH5bqEgqO1RorN7j1rEGgdw3tKC2xLdv1uZdU3lkpo4/s1600-h/homo-antichrist-dating.png"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 280px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjWBtnHxZNaBDiCbQKkv1sA-vmY7l6gPiXqFWCO_W_d_jJJVxNjXMdL3Cknr7djB2pdXqGsaySUJ7wTyoGGmLok3gv4DoFDBhqLH5bqEgqO1RorN7j1rEGgdw3tKC2xLdv1uZdU3lkpo4/s400/homo-antichrist-dating.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341221959014774642" /></a><br />If you're smart, you probably get your news primarily from <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/slog">the slog</a> and <a href="http://skippy-posts.blogspot.com">Skippystalin</a>. Those are the places you go to read about shit that actually matters, like the question <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2009/05/28/meanwhile-in-wasilla">will the antichrist be gay</a>? No, the Stranger didn't open up that theological question, it was raised in <a href="http://www.frontiersman.com/articles/2009/05/27/faith/doc4a1b794bd0fd9907394285.txt">The Frontiersman</a> the daily paper of Wasilla, Alaska. <br /><br />It reminds me of a famous quote from our last Presidential election. <blockquote>So, when a conservative pundit mocks Wasilla, he's mocking conservatism as it's actually lived, as opposed to conservatism as a theoretical fantasy playground for the purposes of cocktail-party banter.</blockquote><a href="http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=MDE0ZTk0YTE1ZjM1MjRlY2EzY2NkMDlhZThkYTcxMDQ=">Mark Steyn said that</a>.<br /><br />Conservatism couldn't be more fucked if it tried, and that's a good thing. I'm as opposed to socialism as it's possible to be, but I know that hundreds of millions are living with it in Europe and the handful of people in Canada survive it as well. Places where scripture quoting debates on the ass-fucking habits of the anti-christ are not mocked mercilessly, on the other hand, are like the modern middle-east, or Europe around 800AD. <br /><br />If the republicans will not mock and distance themselves from shit like this, they need to stay on the sped bus. <br /><br />Oh and this screenshot came from the Frontiersman article. It was another slog post that alerted me to it, but I can't find that post due to a big download going on. That's why I tell people that starting your day with anything other than <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/slog">the slog</a> or <a href="http://skippy-posts.blogspot.com">Postcards of the Hanging</a> is stupid.Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-48450227561755240512009-05-21T16:01:00.000-07:002009-05-21T16:15:45.464-07:00Something to think about<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzH8cNtiMCW_VlvtBkOAUYXq6fxWcWapi4w7iDTEhZWVQ6HzTlCAM8tMnafdrc4gNZgjNBfCnsjeDaZDtNAEDgTmSP78ghIWIg0tv6P2sC9_dYY17KGYKrLX4ODN-DpukBsPq9ohty8O4/s1600-h/1242941264-hotteachernight3.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 130px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzH8cNtiMCW_VlvtBkOAUYXq6fxWcWapi4w7iDTEhZWVQ6HzTlCAM8tMnafdrc4gNZgjNBfCnsjeDaZDtNAEDgTmSP78ghIWIg0tv6P2sC9_dYY17KGYKrLX4ODN-DpukBsPq9ohty8O4/s200/1242941264-hotteachernight3.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338419724988807042" /></a><br />If I was a fan of house music, or whatever it is the kids are playing when there's a club DJ thing, I would definitely be at <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2009/05/21/this-is-so-nutty-i-cant-even-write-a-headline">Hot For Teacher Night</a>. Vili Fulau and Mary K. Letourneau will be hosting the party. No shit, click on that link if you don't believe me.<br /><br />If you've been following this blog, you're probably one of the voices in my head and not real. All the rest of you are probably unaware of the extensive coverage <a href="http://tardsanonymous.blogspot.com/2008/12/ill-never-forget-where-i-was.html">Skippy has given</a> to the issue of just how fucking hot the teacher's who've been busted for blowing their students are. You really should read up and educate yourself on this issue.Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-567026392725840562009-05-03T19:19:00.000-07:002009-05-03T20:15:09.302-07:00Jackoff news<a href="http://enjoyeverysandwich.blogspot.com/2007/07/michael-vick-has-interesting-hobby-all.html">Back a couple of years ago</a> Skippy expressed his childhood disappointment that there was no professional pussy-eating league. This competition is not professional and it's not pussy-eating, but it is a step in the right direction. Via <a href="http://rokdrop.com/">ROK Drop</a> and then <a href="http://neilduckett.com/masturbate-a-thon-2009">Niel Duckett</a> I learned of San Fransisco's annual <a href="http://masturbate-a-thon.com/history.php">Masturbate-a-thon</a>. <br /><br />My question for Skippy is does he plan to compete? I realize the event doesn't currently have a lot of corporate sponsorship, but the fact that we now have competitive masturbation in North America indicates a positive cultural trend toward a world where breakfast cereals and companies like Nike will be sponsoring competitive jackoffery with serious bucks, and putting the world's top wankers on cereal boxes.Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-52631351636061792282009-05-02T00:30:00.000-07:002009-05-02T00:59:56.232-07:00A Christmas QuoteI know I'm off by about as far as it's possible to be off in the timing of this, but I just read <a href="http://www.google.com/books?id=1i7dSd-LRXwC&dq=the+last+kingdom&source=gbs_summary_s&cad=0">this book</a> and had to share one of the many money quotes:<blockquote>I spent many Christmasses at the West Saxon court. Christmas is Yule with religion, and the West Saxons managed to spoil the midwinter feast with chanting monks, droning priests, and savagely long sermons. Yule is supposed to be a celebration and a consolation, a moment of warm brightness in the heart of winter, a time to eat because you know that the lean times are coming when food will be scarce and ice locks the land, and a time to be happy and get drunk and behave irresponsibly and wake up the next morning wondering if you will ever feel well again, but the West Saxons handed the feast to the priests who made it as joyous as a funeral. I have never really understood why people think religion has a place in the midwinter feast...</blockquote> Read more <a href="http://www.google.com/books?id=1i7dSd-LRXwC&pg=PA194&vq=christmas&dq=the+last+kingdom&source=gbs_search_s&cad=0">here</a>.<br /><br />Since childhood, I was struck by the contrast between Christmas and the religion that gave the holiday its name. The holiday was fun, and had nothing in common with the worship of a god who was just like the galactic empire, only less rational. I didn't give it too much thought at the time, except to be glad that crucifixion was the furthest thing on my mind around that time and to pity those raised under the evil shadow of religion. <br /><br />My favorite take on how the Pagan holiday we celebrate in mid winter was stolen by the Christian church is <a href="http://www.aynrand.org/site/News2?page=NewsArticle&id=5182&news_iv_ctrl=2467">Leonard Piekoff's <i>Why Christmas Should be More Commercial</i></a>. <br /><br />But the book I quoted is not primarily about that. It's about the Danes overruning 3 out of 4 Saxon kingdoms in 9th century England, and the Saxon king Alfred who turned that around and created the first unified English kingdom. <br /><br /><a href="http://www.bernardcornwell.net/">Bernard Cornwell</a> is a brilliant author of historical fiction revolving around wars and usually from the infantryman's point of view. You can get a good intro to his work from the <a href="http://www.netflix.com/Movie/Sharpe_1_Sharpe_s_Rifles/60001851?lnkce=seRtLn&trkid=222336&lnkctr=srchrd-sr&strkid=1458919157_0_0">BBC Sharpe's Rifles</a> series. <a href="http://www.google.com/books?id=1i7dSd-LRXwC&dq=the+last+kingdom&source=gbs_summary_s&cad=0">The Last Kingdom</a> is my favorite of his so far. After watching and getting hooked on the <a href="">Richard Sharpe tv series</a>, I picked up <a href="http://www.bernardcornwell.net/index.cfm?page=2&BookId=33">The Archer's Tale</a>. I'll eventually read all of Cornwell's books. He's that good.Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-17791573796652712009-04-24T10:28:00.000-07:002009-04-24T10:54:37.164-07:00Not relatedIt seems <a href="http://blog.filmjabber.com/2009/04/17/parks-and-recreation-bringing-down-the-office/">there's another Luke Baggins out there</a>. This is definitely not me as I'm only a moderate fan of the office. What's extra weird about this is that the blog this comment was posted on seems to be Seattle based. <br /><br />It would be really fucked up if there were two of us posting comments at <a href="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</a>. From time to time, I search for <a href="http://www.google.com/search?q=luke+baggins+site%3Athestranger.com">my comments</a> there, and I've yet to find one that isn't by me. I do, on the other hand, find some that I wish I didn't have sole blame for. On the other hand, I do sometimes get it right. It's comments like <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/oldest_house_in_south_lake_union_success">Mr. Poe's here</a> that make commenting on the slog look fun and easy. And it is both. What's less easy is going back and looking at what you've written and seeing how it stacks up to the others. Poe always get's really short sweet comments that are on target like a JDAM. Mine are more like a shotgun blast held by an alzheimer's victim with very shaky hands. I wander around the topic. But I'm keeping a link to my slog comments on the side in case you all run out of things to read.<br /><br />I'm glad I google alerted myself to this other Luke Baggins issue.Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-43264125664300624922009-04-03T10:20:00.000-07:002009-04-03T11:15:17.767-07:00The Asshole From El PasoMany years ago, I was at my dad's place looking at a book on the history of country music and there was this crazy fucker in some kind of mink coat with rhinestones all over, heart shaped, plastic-jewel studded sunglasses under his crazy-ass paisley fedora. And I was like "Who the fuck is that?". And my dad said: "That's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinky_Friedman">Kinky Friedman</a>, of Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys. And it's a good thing this book was made in the UK, because no American book on the history of country music would have included him." I've learned a lot of valuable things out at my dad's place. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP_hnR44dANd9KR2hkmE28tQqpQ38x7J95bYpWZjTAnRFR9Z-NE8X8Xc4ILSLd1USzeXhPZI5Seh-tkwA2-6zpQ8v1mCvqn3ubBRNnpoEyH4gdbDkPJKB6TgJ0U2mPGcP_quy-LGVQobU/s1600-h/kinky-gov.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 70px; height: 120px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP_hnR44dANd9KR2hkmE28tQqpQ38x7J95bYpWZjTAnRFR9Z-NE8X8Xc4ILSLd1USzeXhPZI5Seh-tkwA2-6zpQ8v1mCvqn3ubBRNnpoEyH4gdbDkPJKB6TgJ0U2mPGcP_quy-LGVQobU/s200/kinky-gov.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5320519569914445570" /></a>Later, I learned that he was running for governor of Texas and his slogan was <i>"The Asshole From El Paso</i>. I see today's political scene as very much like a Jerry Springer episode, but I don't think it needs to be that way, or should be that way, so I'm not in favor of bullshit campaigns in general. On the other hand, here in Seattle, <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2009/03/16/i_m_running_for_mayor">Dan Savage has announced a bid for the Mayor's office</a> and I'm glad he did it. It reminds people where politics currently are. So maybe Kinky had the right idea in his campaign. <br /><br />I asked my dad to play me some Texas Jewboys tracks and didn't hear anything memorable. If Kinky ever succeeded musically, it wasn't in the couple of tracks I heard. I also came back into the city with several paperbacks of Kinky Friedman Novels. For what's probably more than a year now, all they did was sit on my shelf getting dusty with the other books. But, just recently, after a long stretch of reading nothing but <a href="http://www.bernardcornwell.net/index2.cfm?page=1&seriesid=1">Bernard Cornwell</a>, I did some re-reading of <a href="http://www.carlhiaasen.com/index.shtml">Carl Hiaasen</a>. Specifically, I re-read <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Skinny-Dip-Carl-Hiaasen/dp/0375411089">Skinny Dip</a> for the third fucking time. And it was funnier than ever. In fact, I think it may be even funnier than <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Strip-Tease-Carl-Hiaasen/dp/0446600660">Strip Tease</a> which kept me up late several nights laughing my fucking ass off. If you haven't read Strip Tease yet, you're in for a serious treat. I can't even emphasize that enough. But we're talking about Kinky. <br /><br />I decided to finally pick up <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Armadillos-Old-Lace-Kinky-Friedman/dp/0553574477/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1238781675&sr=1-1">Armadillos and Old Lace</a> and see if the asshole from El Paso did better in prose than in music, and so far, it looks promising. To start with, look at the blurbs and who they're coming from:<br /><br />"Spreads more joy than Ross Perot's Ears"<br />-Molly Ivins<br /><br />"Kinky Friedman is one of Texas's great natural resources"<br />-former governor Ann W. Richards<br /><br />"Kinky, Mozart, Shakespeare--with what could I equal them"<br />-Joseph Heller<br /><br />There's more like that. If those blurbs are actual quotes from the people whose names are printed beneath them, I'm impressed. So I'm convinced to read further.<br /><br />Here's a sample from the first few pages that convinced me to read the rest:<blockquote>I could use a little quiet, I reflected. I'd become somewhat ambivalent about performing country music gigs lately and I'd come to realize that anybody who uses the word "ambivalent" probably shouldn't have been a country singer in the first place</blockquote><br />I think I'll be reading the rest. I'll let you know how it turns out. In the meantime, Carl Hiaasen is a proven winner. I'm no fan of his environmentalism at all, but he is a virtuoso of satire. His books are better the 3rd time than they are the first. And I laughed out loud the first time. I've been meaning to write in detail about why this guy rocks for a long time, and I can't go into the details just yet, but that's been on my to-do list forever. Maybe someday I'll write that essay. For now, if you're book shopping, I'll tell you that his funniest are: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Strip-Tease-Carl-Hiaasen/dp/0446600660">Strip Tease</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Skin-Tight-Carl-Hiaasen/dp/0446695696/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1238781497&sr=1-1">Skin Tight</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Skinny-Dip-Carl-Hiaasen/dp/0375411089">Skinny Dip</a> and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Lucky-You-Carl-Hiaasen/dp/0446695653/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1238781609&sr=1-1">Lucky You</a>.Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-3580190252913552952009-04-03T09:36:00.000-07:002009-04-03T09:59:08.433-07:00Music History Update<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzo0-pPML_zrXmuyqh09RynrMADXrVJwQ48DsawxPWh8vWwvQpyQvgIL1dwdSqAp_GH9GPMYoh5ydbid1BFIRuA8Hkrir_BDGxdhOE3JzB1wmh37MkXW0lEx3VldVvB93S13wuFB0W1xA/s1600-h/sonicabooms.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 197px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzo0-pPML_zrXmuyqh09RynrMADXrVJwQ48DsawxPWh8vWwvQpyQvgIL1dwdSqAp_GH9GPMYoh5ydbid1BFIRuA8Hkrir_BDGxdhOE3JzB1wmh37MkXW0lEx3VldVvB93S13wuFB0W1xA/s200/sonicabooms.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5320509350075994754" /></a><br />Some months ago, I witnessed some serious music history, and of course, <a href="http://bodybuildingelf.blogspot.com/2008/11/music-history.html">I blogged it here</a>. For those too lazy or busy to click links, I saw <a href="http://www.myspace.com/sonicsthe">The Sonics</a>, the founding fathers of punk rock at the Paramount. It was one of those nights when I feel sorry for anyone <a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/128483320.html">unable to appreciate the Northwest</a>. Those nights are damn near every night though. This night ... well, I'm not going to do any better describing it now than I did <a href="http://bodybuildingelf.blogspot.com/2008/11/music-history.html">then</a>.<br /><br />The point now is to update all of you. As an Internet opinion maker, I have an obligation to keep all of you informed of what matters and what doesn't. In that earlier post, I linked to <a href="http://www.myspace.com/sonicsthe">this myspace page</a> saying it had all of the most essential Sonics tracks on it. It turns out, there's another essential one that you shouldn't miss. It's called <b>"Shot Down"</b> and I believe it was on their 2nd album <i>"Boom"</i>. It is a perfect example of why those guys rule and why I will still go out to see them play when they're way too old to be doing this shit. You can hear it on <a href="http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=81218501">this other myspace sonics page</a>. Check it out. You'll be glad you did.Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-15225246218630731302009-04-01T08:06:00.000-07:002009-04-01T08:50:21.220-07:00News from my assI'm sure most of you have seen <a href="http://myherooftheday.com/?p=870">this story</a>. I immediately set up a google alert for any new developments when I heard that the makers of the Pull-My-Finger iPhone app were suing the makers of iFart for trademark infringement. Didn't you? In case you've been in a coma, or out filling sandbags for your end of the world compound in the hills without a web-connected computer nearby or something, They're claiming that iFart's use of the phrase "Pull my finger" in promotional materials violates their trademark. <br /><br /><a href="http://myherooftheday.com/?p=870">This story, which I'm linking again</a> gives a pretty good re-cap of the case so far. It includes this under-fucking-statement of the fucking century: <i>"Denver-based trademark attorney John Posthumus of Greenberg Traurig said the case has interesting facets that could make for lively arguments if the issue went to trial. "</i> <br /><br />The thought of that case going to trial had me feeling like I hadn't felt since I was 5 years old and in the 2 week home stretch before Christmas. I knew it probably wasn't going to trial, because that would be too good and a Lawyer friend confirmed that for me so I could start getting over it. <br /><br />The bullet points are these:<br /><ul><li>Yes, "Pull My Finger" is a federally registered trademark</li><br /><li>Being the top selling fart application in the iPhone app store is worth like $50,000 a week</li><br /><li>Sadly, no, this isn't going to trial. </li></ul><br /><br />It would be unfair not to link to <a href="http://ifartmobile.com/">the iFart</a> and <a href="http://air-o-matic.com/2008/12/pull-my-finger/">Pull my finger</a> sites. I wouldn't want to deny them the great big wave of web traffic they'll surely get from my link.<br /><br />Also, check out <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nS0Arm4rskE&feature=player_embedded">Kathy Lee investigating another iFart related story</a>.Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-71863120623531249832009-03-29T02:08:00.000-07:002009-03-29T02:26:44.839-07:00Possible good news?So I'm hearing through the internets that the new <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joss_Whedon">Joss Whedon</a> show Dollhouse is <a href="http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/watch_with_kristin/b104873_dollhouse_about_get_damn_good.html">about to get good</a>. I, like everyone who's not completely retarded, am a huge Joss Whedon fan. He gets it wrong some times, but when he's on, holy fuck! The man who gave us <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firefly_(TV_series)">Firefly</a> has so much credit in the bank he could turn out solid streams of <a href="http://www.poopreport.com/">pure poo</a> for the rest of his career and I would lap up every last drop of it. <br /><br />It will be a while before I can confirm or deny these rumors for all the many thousands who come here first to have their opinions made. The reason for this is that my bandwidth is much too shitty for <a href="http://www.hulu.com/">Hulu</a>, so I get my TV shows exclusively from <a href="http://www.netflix.com">Netflix</a> which is the only really civilized option. I can't imagine going back to a world where things are "on" at a particular time and not at some other time. Anytime I talk about a show and someone asks me "what channel is that on?", it takes me a while to realize what they're talking about. There are people in the world who still wait for shows to get broadcast out to them on some kind of schedule. I can't imagine living that way, but you know, different fuckin strokes, as Arnold said. <br /><br />But I won't go back to the unsanitary caveman days and die of bubonic plague while waiting for a show to be on at a certain time. I will put the show on my <a href="http://www.netflix.com">netflix queue</a> and wait for the disc to come to me, like a civilized person. <br /><br />So my views on Whedon's new show Dollhouse will not be available to the many readers of this blog until that happens. <br /><br />But I will remind all of you of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angel_(TV_series)#Season_Four">fucking unbelievable shittiness</a> that was the 2nd to last season of Angel and the amazing awesomeness of the last season. That is the reason why those of us with taste will sit through whatever Whedon puts out there. We know it will eventually be worth it.Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-12856041174680304362009-03-29T00:39:00.000-07:002009-03-29T00:49:47.916-07:00The StoryFor those who weren't following the last days of Skippy's old blog. <a href="http://www.thesurlybeaver.ca/index.php?itemid=648">Here</a> is a good summary of what went down and why I keep to a fake name. I haven't yet had occasion to piss off someone online. Someone has to read you for that to happen. But Skippy's own stories of getting fired due to his old blog struck a chord with me. I expect I will piss somebody off eventually. <br /><br />The story <a href="http://www.thesurlybeaver.ca/index.php?itemid=656">continues here</a><br /><br />And then, <a href="http://www.thesurlybeaver.ca/index.php?itemid=659">it proceeds to get better</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.fivefeetoffury.com/:entry:fivefeet-2009-01-28-0010/">Here is the story</a> of how Kinsella earned the title "Catmeat".Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-69331088859892525422009-03-26T18:32:00.001-07:002009-04-01T08:37:53.356-07:00All kinds of newsI know you haven't heard from me in a while. Things have been going at the usual crazy pace. Much of what I have to share today isn't new, but for the many thousands of readers who rely on this blog for fair and balanced commentary, it probably will be news.<br /><br />First, there's a horrible irony to my last post title "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Berghoff_(restaurant)">Berghoff's will always be there</a>." Sometime after I posted it, the great and inspiring Skippystalin went off the air. At first, I coped pretty well. I think I was in denial. I refused to consider the details of what an internet without Skippy would be like. Plus, I had lots of work to do, but then one evening as I was racing toward a deadline and, as usual, looking for ways to waste time when I really shouldn't, I went to <a href="http://tardsanonymous.blogspot.com">my unofficial Skippy archive</a> to browse some old posts as I often do and I found that both of Skippy's blogs and all of their archives had been deleted <b><i>(they've been restored since though)</i></b>! I hadn't seen that coming. Oh fuck! This means that <a href="http://tardsanonymous.blogspot.com">Tards Anonymous</a> is now a bunch of links pointing to nowhere. I will eventually update some of those links wherever I can find cached copies of those old pages. Canada's flag should really have been at half mast that day. They lost one of their greatest national treasures.<br /><br />On the other hand, there's also good news. The good news is <a href="http://www.geocities.com/blackbeardian/Magecraft/bwolftoc.html">Blackwolf The Dragon Master</a>, New York City's unofficial wizard, is planning <a href="http://www.geocities.com/blackbeardian/Magecraft/bw1stfilm.html">his first feature film!</a> <br /><br />Anybody with a decent education knows who Blackwolf is, but I know that schools today are really fucking retarded and still aren't teaching <a href="http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/aus/323013997.html">Ass Jihad</a>, which would inspire more kids to read and write than any of that stupid bullshit they told us was "poetry". And it's also likely that none of them were teaching the work of <a href="http://skippy-posts.blogspot.com/">Skippystalin</a>. So there are probably lots of you who don't know who Blackwolf is. The remedial education of people like you is why I came to the webs in the first place though, so I'll back up to the beginning. <br /><br />It was Blackwolf who inspired me with the possibility of claiming an unofficial title for myself on Al Gore's interweb. I knew there were probably other <a href="http://tardsanonymous.blogspot.com/">Skippystalin fansites</a> out there, but I figured Skippy didn't yet have an unofficial archivist, so that was the title for me. I claimed the title, and it turned out, nobody challenged me for it. That worked out okay. It got me writing about something. It also made me realize how much I do want to write about my own opinions, and retarded thoughts and didn't want to mix my Skippy commentary up with that. I wanted <a href="http://tardsanonymous.blogspot.com">Tards Anonymous</a> to be for all Skippystalin fans, even the ones so morally deficient as to not agree with me on other things. And that led to the organized retardation that you're reading now. <br /><br />Blackwolf is a hero of Al Gore's interwebs, not a great cultural commentator like Skippy, but he adds the kind of color to the web that you'll never find in other media. That's why it's ironic that it was through the establishment media, via the web that I first learned of him. I was working in Chicago back in 2002 and some coworker downloaded <a href="http://www.triumphtheinsultcomicdog.com/">Triump The Insult Comic Dog's</a> Attack of the Star Wars Nerds episode. I don't think I've seen a laughter explosion like the one that collapsed everyone in that office since the late 90's when the Farelly brothers' classic Something About Mary was in theaters. If you haven't seen that, the Triumph nerds episode, or Something About Mary, you need to. One of the people colorfully pooped on in in that episode, when Triumph visited the ziegfield theater in NYC for the Attack of the Clones opening, was The Dragon Master himself.<br /><br />You can see The nerds attack on Triumph's DVD, which I think you can get at Netflix, but you really should own a copy. I'm against owning things in general, but I have a copy of that disc and the Firefly set (fuck the movie), but that's another story.<br /><br />Later, Blackwolf recorded a duet with Triumph on the CD <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Come_Poop_With_Me">Come Poop With Me</a>. From then on, I knew that this unofficial municipal mage was one to keep an eye on. I was right, as I usually am, that's why I still hold the title of Skippy's archivist (until Skippy decides to yank it). Blackwolf is planning I hope he pulls it off. The unofficial wizard title impresses me and anyone else with real culture, but hollywood investors are famous for being assholes. There's an <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entourage_(TV_series)">entire HBO show devoted to this fact</a>. I hope somebody decides to back this project, like maybe the Insult Comic Dog. Maybe there can be a part for the dog in the movie. Blackwolf says he may fictionalize some of the details of his youth in Ireland, maybe he could write a foul-mouthed best friend into the story. Everything is better with that dog in it. Just as New York City is better with an unofficial wizard.<br /><br />Now, I'm off to see a <a href="http://www.myspace.com/thebuckaroosters">great Buck Owens cover band</a>. <br /><br />I promise to take my blogging responsibilities as seriously as they merit in the future.Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-17303580301950218182009-02-17T22:22:00.000-08:002009-02-17T22:31:41.791-08:00Berghoff's will always be there.I'm watching <a href="http://www.netflix.com/Movie/Swingtown_Season_1/70100696">Swingtown</a>. A show about a couple moving into an affluent northshore suburb kinda like Wilmette, but they don't name the town. It's 1976, a year that I can only just barely remember, and their neighbors are into partner swapping. Someone just said "Berghoff's will always be there." And anyone who knows Chicago knows that this is not the case.<br /><br />I'm not sure why I like this show so much other than the women are amazingly hot. I was never all that nostalgic about the 70's. I've loved every <a href="http://www.lileks.com/institute/interiors/closer.html">James Lileks sendup of the era</a>. And if you haven't seen <a href="http://www.lileks.com/institute/motel/roost/10.html">the gobbler</a>, you don't know the Internet. What's interesting about this show is how normal the 70's look. The hair, the clothes, the crazy wallpaper, all that shit you see in any show about the 70's is there, but in this show, it looks normal. That's what gets my attention. Usually, when you 70's hair, or 70's shirts, you say "holy fuck look at that 70's hair!" In this show, it all seems normal, like it did back then when I was 5, 6 and 7. If you're a hardcore TV junkie, this show might just be for you.<br /><br />Oh, and it's about wife and husband swapping and it's on network TV!! That's some kind of a sign of something or whatever. <br /><br />Check it out.Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-60360967149464360252009-02-07T17:26:00.000-08:002009-02-08T04:35:16.162-08:00The most hilarious family in AmericaI have shit I need to be doing, and really don't have time to be posting this, but it's too good not to share. <br /><br />Some Brit came over here and filmed <a href="http://www.idiotscollective.com/2009/02/most-hated-family-in-america.html">a documentary on the Westboro Baptist Church</a>. I thought Jesus Camp was pretty funny, but it only had a few moments that really made me laugh out loud. My favorite was when some lefty radio guy tells the youth pastor that she's going to hell for indoctrinating kids with republicanism. And there were a few other worthwhile moments. But Jesus Camp has exactly shit on this one. The Westboro congregation is non-stop comedy gold. I really shouldn't be watching this, but I can't stop. It's too good. The whole hour-long documentary is there online. Below, I've transcribed the scene that made me realize that there was just no way I could stop watching and that I would be longing for more when it reached the end:<br /><br />Reporter (R): "Where are we going?"<br /><br />Westboro Member (WM): "We're going to a picket here at the Jew church."<br /><br />R: "What did you say?"<br /><br />WM: "The Jew church."<br /><br />R: "That sounds a little anti-semitic when you say 'the jew church'."<br /><br />WM: "These people hate God and worship the rectum."<br /><br />R: "The rectum?"<br /><br />WM: "Yeah, the rectum."<br /><br />R: "That sounds insane when you say that!"<br /><br />WM: "They worship that which they desire. That which makes them feel good."<br /><br />If you miss <a href="http://www.idiotscollective.com/2009/02/most-hated-family-in-america.html">this show</a>, you're regret it for the rest of your fucking life.<br /><br /><b>Update:</b> Okay, I've watched the rest of it, and no, it doesn't ever quite reach the greatness of that scene again, but it's still worth watching to the end. <br /><br />The main thing I'm left with after watching this is <i>for the love of fuck and all that's holy,</i> there has to be a dance mix somewhere with that "They worship the rectum." quote as a sample. If there isn't, there really should be.Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-60226580262865576102009-01-26T18:41:00.000-08:002009-01-26T18:47:41.648-08:00ProgressAnyone not reading the totally not safe for work Violet Blue on a regular basis is missing out on what really matters in life, like <a href="http://www.tinynibbles.com/blogarchives/2009/01/wherein-gizmodo-calls-me-a-complete-creepbag.html">these</a> pictures of a Japanese sex doll factory. <br /><br />It was a <a href="http://enjoyeverysandwich.blogspot.com/2007/07/beyond-valley-of-dolls-what-do-you-get.html">post about sex dolls</a> that originally inspired me to start archiving the links that were lost to the world from Skippy's old site.<br /><br />I know that <a href="http://tardsanonymous.blogspot.com/2008/07/for-those-about-to-rock.html">Tards Anonymous</a> hasn't been updated in a while and there's much to be done. But keep your crash helmets on. These days, blogger is a whole lot better than it used to be and full text searching works pretty well.Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-32285730426483866422009-01-19T04:02:00.000-08:002009-01-19T04:04:56.281-08:00Good FridayFriday <a href="http://fancychance.wordpress.com/">Fancy Chance</a> was in town. It was one of those evenings that start with hot dancers <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD1trvYL3JI#t=3m21s">twirling tassels</a>, William Shatner's voice in the back ground, and then ends with hot dogs, wondering where your people went, and passing out. The buzz didn't wear off for more than a day and I have no explanation for the green stains on the butt-cheek of my pants. I would write in detail about the show I saw at the <a href="http://www.myspace.com/cancancastaways">Can Can</a>, but among the legions of readers of this blog, there could be someone who lives further along in <a href="http://fancychance.wordpress.com/">Fancy Chance's</a> tour route. I wouldn't want to give away any of the surprises in the show. I'll just say fucking go see it if you're in the right place. I hope video gets posted someday soon.<br /><br />The <a href="http://thecancan.com/calendar.htm">Can Can</a> is a great place. It has low ceilings with archways and red lights. It looks satanic, like something from Carnivale. When I have a job, lots more of my Fridays will start there.<br /><br />Oh and go see some more <a href="http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=fancy+chance&search_type=&aq=f">video of Fancy Chance on Youtube</a>. You'll be glad you did.Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-64371085638580895312008-12-31T10:03:00.001-08:002008-12-31T10:56:09.901-08:00A Belated IntroductionBack before I started <a href="http://tardsanonymous.blogspot.com/2008/07/for-those-about-to-rock.html">getting all of my news from Skippystalin</a>, I discovered Seattle's alt weekly <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Home">The Stranger</a>. Most alt weeklys are only good for the classifieds and the show listings and are ignored by most people. Seattle is different. It's so different, in fact, that I discovered The Stranger while living in Chicago and having no use for the classifieds and show listings half a continent away. <br /><br />In the comments at <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/30/objectivism_eats_itself">the slog</a>, that's the Stranger's blog, someone asked why an Objectivist would be reading the Stranger. That's an easy question to answer, and my answer bears repeating here. I think this is probably not the first time I've told this story in this space, but it's important enough to tell again.<br /><br />It was Dan Savage's articles on the <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=10752">Aaron Palmer story</a> <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/truth-or-dare/Content?oid=12016">(2nd article here)</a> that made me a regular reader of The Stranger, and rummager of the <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?archives=all">Savage Love archives</a> posted there. Those two articles I just linked are the best things ever written on the evil of prohibition (or the drug war as some are still calling it). <br /><br />Then there was <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=12464">The opening chapter</a> of Dan Savage's <i><u>Skipping Towards Gomorrah</u></i>. <br /><br />I think this pretty much closes the case on the Stranger as the only real newspaper in America.<br /><br />It opens up another question which the voices in my head refuse to shut up about. <br /><br />Q: "So Luke, why have you never introduced yourself in this blog as an Objectivist?". <br /><br />A: I didn't want this blog to be about that. I don't agree with Ayn Rand's views on Swear words (I'm a fan), and some other things, but the main reason is that advocating a particular philosophy is a task best left to the pros. <a href="http://www.aynrand.org/site/PageServer?pagename=index">The Ayn Rand Institute</a> and bloggers like <a href="http://www.dianahsieh.com/blog/index.shtml">Diana Hsieh</a>, <a href="http://www.ariarmstrong.com/">Ari Armstrong</a>, and <a href="http://gusvanhorn.blogspot.com/">Gus Van Horn</a> are doing that better than I could. I wouldn't expect them to approve of this blog, because I don't. I see blogging as a fun outlet and also an exercise that's worth my time. I do think my take on things may occasionally have value to some, otherwise I wouldn't publish it, but I don't want to add my name to a list of serious activists until I'm ready to actually be one. Since I'm not a professional writer and have professional plans in a very different direction for the next many years, I don't see myself contributing substantially to the kind of serious letter writing that these bloggers are doing. That's why I'm only now identifying this fake-name blog as one written by an Objectivist.<br /><br />Q: "So why should an Objectivist get all his news from Skippystalin, who is pretty clearly not one?"<br /><br />A: That's another writing assignment that I've been putting off. I'll go into more detail on this later, but the short answer is like this: Advocating for a better future requires keeping an eye on the culture of the present day. This is a frustrating and painful chore. Skippy is the absolute best therapy for this frustration. <a href="http://enjoyeverysandwich.blogspot.com/2007/06/people-vs.html">His People v. Paris Hilton</a> is one of the better examples. And go <a href="http://tardsanonymous.blogspot.com/2008/07/for-those-about-to-rock.html">here</a> if you want to see the best case for getting all your news from Skippy. History is another good cure for the panic that can set in when looking at current events. If you think the present world is fucked, you haven't really digested the history of the 1930's and 40's. You really don't know what fucked is. But now I digress and I have New Years shit to do, so all of you have a happy new years!!Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-63572293872732216662008-11-09T05:43:00.000-08:002008-11-09T06:40:25.074-08:00Always Take Pictures<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRGsZEiJ8sAnV75Ie3nCduqIrIt7J6hWCebVCurQiX-mPiZCIkeUd1L8B3MgtZwijSXvUTHraHfn2xsc5RwjAzQWIo9gvqI8k4ThRqImZ53o-TsoRlFpLEEmaBLZq3iRz8FfN7Vwkkgwk/s1600-h/95118877.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 121px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRGsZEiJ8sAnV75Ie3nCduqIrIt7J6hWCebVCurQiX-mPiZCIkeUd1L8B3MgtZwijSXvUTHraHfn2xsc5RwjAzQWIo9gvqI8k4ThRqImZ53o-TsoRlFpLEEmaBLZq3iRz8FfN7Vwkkgwk/s200/95118877.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5266659706070964818" /></a>Kids today are used to cell-phone cameras. We all know that <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/10/whoops_1">some of them have had issues with using those powers for good</a>. Just to be clear, I'm in favor of girls sending naked pictures, especially when they're to me, but not when they're under the age of consent and live in a fucking ass-brained jurisdiction where that could get them charged with a felony! But cell-phone cameras and the internets are good things, like knowledge, and I'm in favor, but there's one thing these kids today might not know so much about, so hopefully they can learn something here: good shit needs to be fucking photographed!!! It needs to be fucking photo-ed right fucking now!!<br /><br />When I was living in Roger's Park, my part of it was not very exciting. I was right a mile south of Howard street, which the border with Evanston. The hood combines the boringness of the suburbs with the shittiness of some of the moderately shitty parts of the city, until you get to know it, then you realize that you're not only saving money on rent, but you have blogworthy shit all around you. It's a totally wierd intersection of the normal mid-west and the weirder parts of Chicago. There's bars like "The Ho", where you order a Jameson and get a wierd mix of peppermint schnapps and pappy's corn squeezins from Iowa and a lecture on how everyone in this neighborhood gets mugged eventually from the drunk at the next stool. There's much that's good in that neighborhood. I never did get mugged in the year I was living there, but I think my drinking skills are a bit ahead of that guy. There's a gay bar near there called <b><i>The Jackhammer</i></b>. I'm not looking to get jackhammered in the ass... not by a man anyway, but if I was, it would be good to know that there's a place that openly advertises that and that this place is in a neighborhood where I can buy a family valuin house, walk the dog to the beach and pick up crack-whores on Morse. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdvcNs4FquKoDbQIBTBLeKruSiaA71bsEpQCvG_4UELZAUvDp6DBoGD6lQSPorIVPTijnXBr7y3RSofZJGiOYUuqPqNtFkUwPbehg0vjVwo7rsnRN_G1w5PofopN4yrXxORAenBFFvCSM/s1600-h/DSC00037.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdvcNs4FquKoDbQIBTBLeKruSiaA71bsEpQCvG_4UELZAUvDp6DBoGD6lQSPorIVPTijnXBr7y3RSofZJGiOYUuqPqNtFkUwPbehg0vjVwo7rsnRN_G1w5PofopN4yrXxORAenBFFvCSM/s200/DSC00037.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5266662708656222546" /></a>Now you're wondering, that doesn't sound like anything I want to see a picture of. And you're right, suburban streets, with the occasional crack whore get-mugged block shuffled in, it's not the kind of thing anyone should ever photograph, well, occasionally there's something like this whack ass house. Does anyone know what you call that pattern?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt9cVnWgCBPqFeEQNnHt7VNZKO19X1jCXdLkOi9ZBBsWrX1jBar3xfBwVWO28dKNssr1olYhSnaWtHBLJ93RU2F-wv5X6UWAZGSkm01qmECourRWx5Yhxd0ONDq8AVMm1M-Uy0rArouOw/s1600-h/XNBK72.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 96px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt9cVnWgCBPqFeEQNnHt7VNZKO19X1jCXdLkOi9ZBBsWrX1jBar3xfBwVWO28dKNssr1olYhSnaWtHBLJ93RU2F-wv5X6UWAZGSkm01qmECourRWx5Yhxd0ONDq8AVMm1M-Uy0rArouOw/s200/XNBK72.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5266666067537635874" /></a>But the point is, even in places that look boring on the surface, there's shit worth seeing if you look close, and Roger's Park also had one store that I will regret not taking pictures of for the rest of my natural fucking life!! It was called <b>CASKET CITY</b>. They had a sign almost as in your face as The Drug Zone, but the letters were block square and when it was lit up it just called out to you. "<i>Step right up casket lovers! We got white caskets! black caskets! brown caskets! <b>SMELLY CASKETS</b>! If we don't got it you don't want it! If you buy one casket for us, we'll throw in a casket of equal or lesser value for a penny!!</i>" I used to pass by it and say to whoever I was with "We need to get some photos of that!". And we would agree, but we wouldn't get our fucking asses out there in the always way too hot or way too fucking cold Chicago weather and actually take the fucking photo, and then the place went out of business! I've recently been searching all the internets for a picture of one of the world's coolest storefronts, but there are none. <a href="http://yellowpages.wisn.com/Casket+City.327670.100944349.home.html">I did find a yellowpages profile</a> that teases me with the idea that this place is still in business with a phone number and everything. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoR0VyvOCcGkIVTBHZTK9f338aW0wE1YJq6nWeT8bMgeOO3veTmWb-Rs6LKU4SJOPjmeEqtragT-knXGmaITSyEtiYCR5lp3JqMBb-g3K4bEUDar9WpatRBNcYv4BklMwsfSdgFQkyLq8/s1600-h/200px-Butthole_Surfers_Hairway_Front.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 199px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoR0VyvOCcGkIVTBHZTK9f338aW0wE1YJq6nWeT8bMgeOO3veTmWb-Rs6LKU4SJOPjmeEqtragT-knXGmaITSyEtiYCR5lp3JqMBb-g3K4bEUDar9WpatRBNcYv4BklMwsfSdgFQkyLq8/s200/200px-Butthole_Surfers_Hairway_Front.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5266658866678313458" /></a>The fates conspired to tease me again when one of the Brandybucks told me that there was a picture of <b>CASKET CITY</b> at <a href="http://prairiejoes.com/">Prairie Joe's</a>, a restaurant in Evanston. First of all, a restaurant with a website that looks <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hairway_to_Steven">like a Butthole Surfers album cover</a> is my kind of place. Second of all, the food is really good. But they had taken down their Casket City picture. If you're ever in Evanston, you should go eat there, and tell them that Luke Baggins is still hoping to see that picture. I gave the guy my email and he said he would dig around for that image, but he had an actual job, unlike me, so things like digging up pictures of <b>CASKET CITY</b> don't go to the top of his Things-to-do list. <br /><br />But kids, photograph things that don't get you felony charged and post them online, that's the moral of the story.Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-9931766738771083222008-11-09T00:03:00.000-08:002008-11-11T23:25:34.697-08:00Local NewsOkay, last time I posted, I was telling all of you something about what it's like to live in Seattle. Tonight was a good slice of the picture. I'm all fucked up, and on my way home, I stop into a bar. It's a local landmark. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Moon_Tavern">The Blue Moon</a>. <br /><br />And a band gets up on stage and starts singing:<br /><br />Dan! DAN! <br />The Dirty Baker Man!<br />He will Lick Your Ass <br />But he will not clean a Pan!<br /><br />Just think about that a minute. It's kinda deep.<br /><br /><b>Update:</b> I just got a myspace message from the band saying that every word of that song is true! <br /><br />Anyway, the band was called Kled, their website is <a href="http://www.myspace.com/kledseattle">Here</a>. Check it out. Read the blurb, which says:<br /><br /><blockquote>"Kled is low-brow heavy metal disco spawned in the mountains of Montana in the late 90's. The brainless child of guitarist/vocalist Pat Phlymm, Kled was born out of rural USA ennui coupled with modern dance-theatre performance art. Kled's songs straddle the fence between such capital-letter topics as Poop and Death, while bubbling in a stylistically perverse rock'em and sock'em context. Augmented by the knuckledragging antics of But,Cake (drums) and Beirdo (bass), Kled is on a mindless mission to aurally tackle the most sardonic of hipsters and the most repressed of conservatives by opening hearts, minds, and colons along the way. .."</blockquote><br /><br />But this is how I walk home on a weekend. This is what happens when you live in Seattle.<br /><br />I was just on Facebook pointing out how sad it was that Merle Haggard's scheduled show at the Emerald Queen had been cancelled. Then, because I get my news <a href="http://tardsanonymous.blogspot.com/2008/07/for-those-about-to-rock.html">from Skippystalin</a> I quickly found out <a href="http://www.skippystalin.com/?p=1553">why the show was cancelled</a>. This is what happens when you know where to go for your news. I pity all you fools who go elsewhere.Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9052566754892732539.post-8148432936223239502008-11-05T21:46:00.000-08:002008-11-06T10:37:42.673-08:00Music History<i>Michael Azerrad, Rolling Stone</i>: "...admired by everyone from Springsteen to the Sex Pistols [The Sonics] - cut loose with bloodcurdling screams, Neanderthal drumming and heavily distorted guitar..."<br /><br /><i>Andy Parypa, 1984 Seattle Times:</i> "If our records sound distorted, it's because they are. My Brother (Larry, guitar) was always fooling around with the amps. They were always overdriven. Or he was disconnecting the speakers and poking a hole in them with an ice pick. That's how we ended up sounding like a train wreck"<br /><br />It's common when you're young to want to be someone else when you grow up. Having no knowledge of the limits of your own capabilities you often imagine yourself being Luke Skywalker or something. Then you get a little older and read the story about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shark_episode">Robert Plant, some groupie and a Mudshark</a> in Seattle's Edgewater Inn and your fantasy life grows up a little and you start wanting to be a rock star. Then you get older and get to know who you are and the finite range of what you can and can't be. Also you start admiring a different kind of achievements. <br /><br />The point is that Seattle is always at the center of music history and that I generally read a lot of Skippystalin, but I almost never wish I was him, but that changed for a brief moment last Friday night. Some might ask "why would anyone wish they were Skippy even for a second?" And that's a fair question. I certainly don't think my liver or penis could withstand the kind of unrestrained decades of warfare that his are thoroughly accustomed to by now. And I also wouldn't want to have to go through this last election an admirer of McCain. That would have to have been a fairly brutal disappointment. The thing that got me wishing I could be Skippy just for an evening was when I walked home from seeing <a href="http://www.myspace.com/sonicsthe">The Sonics</a>-- not the losing basketball team bought by Oklahoma city, the founding fathers of Punk Rock from Tacoma. I saw them <a href="http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/pop/386048_sonics03q.html">play at the Paramount</a> and knew that, when I got home, If I was Skippy, I could do this bit of music history justice, but being me, I can't.<br /><br />Everyone with any kind of culture has read Skippy's take on <a href="http://enjoyeverysandwich.blogspot.com/2006/06/why-elvis-is-still-king-im-pretty-sure.html">Elvis</a> and <a href="http://enjoyeverysandwich.blogspot.com/2005/12/great-moments-in-music-history-rolling.html">The Stones</a>. But it's his pieces on lesser known characters (lesser known to me anyway) like <a href="http://enjoyeverysandwich.blogspot.com/2005/04/johnnie-johnson-1924-2005-ever-since-i.html">Johnny Johnson</a>, <a href="http://enjoyeverysandwich.blogspot.com/2007/09/to-know-him-is-to-be-unable-to-decide.html">Phil Spector</a>, or <a href="http://www.skippystalin.com/?p=1437">Sammy Davis Jr.</a> that really make you realize that he has done his share of homework in music. He did it in his teens, then he did my share and moved on to a couple of other peoples'. If I had that background, I would have done something with Friday night to give all of you a clue what it meant. But sadly, this is all you get. It sucks to be you. <br /><br />I used to think it was pretty cool that the week of my 15th birthday <a href="http://www.nirvanaguide.com/images/1988/102888.0001.jpg">Nirvana was opening for the Butthole Surfers at Union Station</a> That was my first year of going to lots of shows. I got my first hit of acid at that show, given to me by a total stranger. If you've never taken drugs handed to you anonymously during the costume contest of a Butthole Surfers halloween show, you really don't know what living is. That was pretty cool, and it was another great halloween show, but this tops it in some ways. Although the girl dressed up as an asshole was something I'll never forget. I would love to see a picture of that. The point is, now I have a pretty good idea of what cool is and what it isn't, so my take on just how cool Friday night was is better than most peoples'.<br /><br />I will say this, having warned you of just how much I wish I had the kind of <a href="http://enjoyeverysandwich.blogspot.com/search?q=tommie+lee+intellectual">preparation</a> Skippy has when he goes to write about music. If you go to <a href="http://www.myspace.com/sonicsthe">That Link</a>, it takes you to one of those myspace pages that play music automatically. I hate this "feature" most of the time. But this page has 4 out of 5 of their most essential tracks. You might listen to <i>"Strychnine"</i>, my favorite, and think <i>"Oh come on Luke! there's lots of bands with that kind of sound."</i> I'd love to hear you name one that sounded like that in <b>19 fuckin 65</b>! Cause that's when <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Here_Are_the_Sonics">that album</a> was on the market. <i>"The Witch"</i> was beaten on the Northwest regional charts only narrowly by Petula Clark's <i>"Downtown"</i> and made it as far as #22 in some other part of the country. <a href="http://surf.to/sonics">These guys invented punk rock by accident</a> and then proceeded to do it better than anybody who has tried to do it on purpose, but only for a couple of years, then they flamed out. So they played their <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgs61lyrd2E">first show in 35 years, last year in goddamn <b>Brooklyn NY</b></a>. I was pissed. Then they played London. Finally they got back here and I couldn't keep myself away. I almost didn't go. They are too goddamn old to be doing that kind of shit. I'm too fucking old and I wasn't born for another 8 years when they first recorded those songs and were in their 20's. Gerrie Roslie was unable to speak for days after recording their cover of Little Richard's <i>"Keep a Knockin"</i>, and last Friday night, he let the base player sing it. Their new base player did a competent job, but the Sonics' version will make your head spin around and make you wonder if you're posessed. When the other guy started singing, I was like "of course Roslie's not going to try that, he's as old as Keith Richards." But then he did Psycho and Strychnine and rocked the paramount. <br /><br />Another reason I almost didn't go is that living in Seattle has spoiled me. My idea of a real show is in a bar at most 40 feet from the band with a crowd milling around. You can walk to a show like that from any of the places I've lived here and you can walk past several others on your way. I walked past 2 live shows on my way home from the Sonics and was handed a PBR in honor of halloween by a local do-gooder. I drank it to make sure there were no roofies in it and it was okay. <br /><br />Now most people don't walk as far as I decided to go last night, because they don't understand how amazing it is walking in Seattle. I have enough experience of other places to understand that it never really rains here and never gets genuinely cold. It's impossible to take the weather here seriously after a couple of years in Chicago, and a couple in a job that keeps you outside a lot, including one winter in Korea, you realize that the weather here isn't meant to be taken seriously. It's here to entertain you. And it was beautiful that friday night I'm glad I went. Even though a great big theater is a major drawback to me, it was a great show, a great walk home, a great free beer handed to me on the walk home. A decent buzz on the walk home. I really will miss this city if I have to leave for my next job.<br /><br /><a href="http://agilemobileandhostile.blogspot.com/2008/11/sonics-live-at-paramount-10312008.html">This guy's take is interesting</a>, I don't think I agree about the Beattles, or that opening act, I found them pretty decent, but a good take.<br /><br /><a href="http://finestkiss.wordpress.com/2008/11/02/boom/">The Costumes! I almost forgot the costumes</a>. My favorite was someone dressed as Uma Thurman from Pulp Fiction with adrenaline syringe protruding from the chest.<br /><br />My favorite Halloween costume of all time was a woman with dark hair who painted on a five-o'clock shadow put a belt around her neck and a dildo in front of her pants with glue coming out of it and said she was <a href="http://enjoyeverysandwich.blogspot.com/2007/11/devil-inside-novel-death-of-michael.html">Michael Hutchence</a>. Number 2 would be the woman at <a href="http://www.nirvanaguide.com/images/1988/102888.0001.jpg">the Butts show in 88</a> who dressed as a butthole. Someday, pictures of that will appear on the internets, and that will be a happy day!Luke Bagginshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01887409713950613467noreply@blogger.com2