I know, you're thinking "sex offenders do horrible things like rape and molest children! And they're almost never women!". We're entering a whole new era. A fifteen year old girl is being tried on kiddie porn charges for sending nekkid pics of herself. If she's convicted, she may have to register as a sex offender. Stop and think about that for a minute.
Some of you may need more than a minute.
I certainly needed more than a minute to digest that bit of info. The thought of meeting a hot girl then discovering that she's registered as a sex offender was too much and I had to take several more minutes before I could get back to the keyboard.
When I was fifteen, if a hot girl got herself on a sex offender registry, I would have made it my mission in life to get myself on one before sixteen. I can see sex crime being the new drugs. There will be DARE to keep kids off emailing nude pics of themselves campaigns in the schools with special cars and police officers devoted to the task. Kids will recite bullshit about how they're going to resist the temptation to film themselves with a bullwhip up their ass, all the while thinking about how to edit the hours of footage they took the previous weekend. When I was 14, my 7th grade class took "Refusal Skills" classes. They made us practice saying now to things like offers of drugs and other things we were supposed to say "no" to. The next generation will have to have expanded classes to include practicing skills like checking for hidden cameras in your lover's room and/or truck stop bathroom, and special seminars on how consent to a deviant sex act by your classmates does not equal consent to film same and post it on x-tube.
Some people may look at a story like this and see tragedy. You may think sex-offender registries were intended to protect us and our children from truly dangerous predators. You might think it is not funny at all that kids could soon start seeing sex-crime as a rite-of-passage-- something to demonstrate their coolness and grownupness to their peers. I've long been resigned to the fact that some people just have no imagination.
"I was 15 when I was added to the local Sex offender registry, but my girlfriend didn't get on one until she was 16."
"What did you do?"
"I posted a video of me rogering myself with my dad's 9-iron, then blogged about it from a school computer."
"FUCK!! I've seen your dad's golf clubs! You must be hardcore to take that sumbitch in the mud trail! "
"Yeah, proving yourself has never been easy, And really, would we want it to be? but I had what it took."
"Sounds like you were lookin to get caught."
"Well every other kid was on the registry, Goth chicks didn't give me the time of day until I had my offender's card. Once I got it, I was swimmin in angsty goth pussy! I couldn't play sports what the fuck else was I gonna do?"
Young kids will be told how serious sex-crime is. Really! It's nothing to joke about. You may think you're not hurting anybody when you film your underage self consensually getting a blowjob, but that's the gateway crime. You might be a decent well adjusted kid, but you'll become addicted to posting naked pictures of yourself in degrading and dehumanizing situations online and feel the need to escalate the habit. You could basically turn into somebody else without knowing it.
Remember, you read it here first!