Monday, October 6, 2008

Fall News

A bunch has happened. I went to Chicago to visit the Brandybuck cousins. You can read highlights of that trip here and especially here. The other big highlight was the A & T grill.

Then, I came home and got some musical advice from Skippystalin. If you're not getting all your news from him, you're just fucked in ways that are hard for me to describe. Then Dr. Reverend chimed in on the musical advice topic.

Then a guy pulled off one of the most creative robberies I've ever heard of using an innertube down the river I played in as a little kid as a getaway route. Journalists don't have a real education, or else they would know that the word for innertubing down a river like that is "butthole surfing" and that's where the band gets their name. I hope they catch the fucker. I wouldn't want that kind of creativity and cleverness out on the street dreaming up more shit like this, much as I enjoyed the headline.

And then, Skippy was down about the likely defeat of McCain in the election. And I tried to cheer him up with Ass Jihad, one of the greatest works of shit poetry ever written. Since it came out a little over a year ago, I've been re-reading it every couple of months. It's a classic! It always improves my mood. I hope it helps Skippy through this troubled time. If you haven't read it, run, don't walk to that link! If you ever are at a friend's house and don't have the link handy, you can always google "ass jihad". That search string (without the quotes), will get you there. It will also get you some funny targeted text ads. Of course, if you have to google it, that probably means you didn't tatoo the Ass Jihad link to your chest.

Here's what I got to the right of my search results:

Islamic Society in the US
Visit Minaret of Freedom Online
For Islamic News and Information.

Uncle Sam Lives in Quincy
Short film tells the story of a man
who changed his name to Uncle Sam

Mustache Rides T-Shirts
High quality T-Shirts
with a sexy design!

Oliver North's US Heroes
Experience Real Stories from Real
American War Heroes. Buy Today!

New Free RPG Dragon Fable
Free Adventure Game! Fight dragons
with spell or sword in an epic RPG.

Meet Black singles
Free to Join. 1000's of pictures &
video's of Beautiful Black singles

It's good to see that Oliver North appreciates some good counter-ass-jihading. The author of that post is certainly an American hero, but I'm wondering about some of those other links. What do you think is the relationship between "Dragonfable" and Ass Jihad? The dating site makes sense though. I've been reciting the words to Ass Jihad to every hot woman I meet lately and I think it will get me laid much better than my performance of "it places the lotion in the basket".

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