Global Issues

I went in my GMail to add Luke Baggins as an author over at Tards Anonymous and my sponsored link at the top of my inbox said: "www.ResponsibilityProject.com - Do you think Paris Hilton can do good in Rwanda?"

To give this question the serious consideration it deserves would require a combination of hard alcohol and laughing gas and whatever prescription Rush Limbaugh is on, but I'll give it a shot anyway.

On one hand, Paris Hilton has proven her ability to flash her cooter at a photographer. The importance of this skill can't be overstated, but a quick look at any of the dog-eared from daily use National Geographics next to my bed reveals that many women in Africa had that skill even before Paris had pubes to shave.

Where there's genocide, there's usually warlords. And where there's warlords there's priviledged warlords' bastard children who enjoy a lifestyle not too different from what Paris is famous for. So it's not clear exactly what Paris brings to the table that they don't already have there.

On the other hand, third-world warlord heiresses are not known for making fuck-tapes of themselves with night-vision. Maybe if they did more of that over there, the economy would boom and the warring factions would all join hands. Maybe Paris is the New Hope for Africa.